I’ve made no secret that I’m a Neil Gaiman fan. I wrote once wrote a story about his toaster for heaven’s sake. So yeah, I’m excited about the American Gods show. I recently reread the novel and I’m curious about how they’re going to adapt certain parts to the screen. I have a lot of faith in Showrunner Bryan Fuller who has been responsible for some of my favorite, if mostly short-lived shows, such as Pushing Daisies, Wonderfalls, and Hanibal.

I found myself wondering if I could predict what the reactions to the show would be before it had actually aired.

Anticipated Fan Reactions to the American Gods Pilot

Bryan Fuller Fans: It is a perfect curio of masterly crafted artistry. Please share my petition to save it from cancellation and add Lee Pace to the cast for season two.

Most Neil Gaiman Fans: That was great. I can’t wait for the next episode.

Some Neil Gaiman Fans: It wasn’t exactly as I pictured it and I wish is was more like the book, but I can think of it as an alternate universe. Of course, I’ll keep watching because Mr. Nancy—oh my God!

Loudest Neil Gaiman Fans: COMPLETE CRAP! EVERYTHING IS WRONG! BURN STARZ TO THE GROUND!

Anti-Neil Gaiman Fans: It sucked but that was to be expected, he’s a hack. The book was totally derivative of—far superior books by Terry Pratchett/Lev Grossman/Mike Vasich/Tad Williams/Diana Wynne Jones—his own ideas from Sandman—this one short story I wrote in high school.

Game of Thrones Fans: This would never have been made without GOT paving the way. How many more days to July 16th?

Doctor Who Fans: Crossover??????

Outlander Fans: Needs more kilts

Deadwood Fans: Needs more cocksucker.

Average person flipping through channels: Masters of Sex has gotten weird.

I’ve been all of these people at some point, depending on the project.